Diet

03 Juni 2009

Monday Breakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth Lunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" - those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox. Afternoon Snack - Drink the maalox Dinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece Dinner, don't eat the coleslaw. Tuesday Breakfast - Eat the coleslaw Lunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea. Dinner - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's. Wednesday Breakfast - Jaws couldn't eat Breakfast after a night at El Flasho's Lunch - Rolaids and a coke Dinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps Thursday Breakfast - Order out for pizza Lunch - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack forleftovers. Dinner - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives. Friday Breakfast - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you. Lunch - Skip Lunch, Fridays are murder Dinner - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus. Saturday Breakfast - Sleep through it. Lunch - Ditto Dinner - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket. Sunday Breakfast - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie. Lunch - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch. Dinner - Chicken noodle soup -Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.

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